Reasons to Rejoice!

Caleb,

Sometimes when we look at pictures of you, we say, “We can hear Caleb in that picture.” And it’s true. You were full of life, and your excitement often came bursting out in a loud whoop or holler. You celebrated your own wins, but just as often, you celebrated ours.

And it was never forced. It was genuine joy.

April has been a month that would have given you plenty of reasons to shout.

1. Easter!

He is the Reason for the Season, and you had a great testimony of that. We visited your graveside and found a beautiful painting from our friend Rod.  It was such a meaningful surprise.  We enjoyed being together at the cemetery - crying and laughing about you, and finding joy in the knowledge that we're only separated for a short time.  You were there with us.  This time, though it wasn't a shout from you - just a warm feeling of love. 

2. General Conference
And as if that wasn’t great enough, some of your friends from Ft. Wingate stopped by our home on their way back from conference. We had such a sweet time getting to know them better—Flora, Gen, Natani, and Victoria. We laughed together, and we cried together. It was wonderful. You would have loved to know that your friends have become our friends. 

3. Eryn left on her mission
Your excitement for her to serve was so clear when she talked with you about it last year. She wondered if she should wait until you came home from your mission before leaving on hers. You told her, “Just go. If you’re ready, don’t wait for me.”

She took your advice and stepped forward in faith. She finished this diamond art picture of you running to the Savior on the morning we took her to the MTC.  Now, that's timing!

She flew to Arizona this week.  If you were here, you would have been glowing with excitement for her. Truthfully, glowing is probably exactly what you’re doing now.

I'd like to share a part of Eryn's farewell talk.  After learning of your passing and feeling completely devastated, she prayed for direction about whether she should still go on her mission. She said:

"My dad and my grandpa offered to give us all a blessing, but we needed to wait for my oldest sister to get home. During that time, I went out to the porch, knelt down, and said a prayer. My words went something like this: 'Dear Heavenly Father, I don’t want to be mad, but I don’t know what to do. I’m confused and scared, and I don’t think a mission is in the plans for me anymore. I need direction on whether I should go through with my mission interviews or not.'

A couple minutes later, as I received a blessing from my grandpa and my dad, the answer became very clear: I needed to go and serve. I broke down in tears as they finished the blessing. I had received my answer, strong and clear.

In Alma 7:11–12 it says… In a moment when I felt lost and didn’t know what to do, the Lord gave me direction  that I needed to go and that I would be okay. He knew what I needed because He came to earth to know how to help me."

4. Brielle had a birthday
You always loved birthdays; especially the food part. We grilled shish-kabobs and ate together on the back patio. If you were here, you would have given Brielle a big hug and told her how much you loved her.

Of course, if you were here, you’d still be out serving on your mission. But that love would have come through loud and clear on a video call. We would have promised to make shish-kabobs again when you got home.

5. Paige graduated from Ensign College
She worked so hard for this, and you would have been so proud. I can hear you now, shouting through the phone, “My sister just graduated from college!” with that huge grin on your face. Then you would have thrown Paige an “air” high five.

And right after that, you probably would have started talking about all the things you were thinking of doing when you got home from your mission - wondering what your future might hold.

6. Springtime on the Farm
You always worked so hard this time of year when you were home. You would have been devastated to hear that the early heat and late freeze took most of our peaches - especially because you would have been searching for your “perfect peach” this fall.

We’ve had good help this year, though. Your cousins Beth and Sam have been here, along with a few other wonderful volunteers. Even in your absence, help keeps showing up.

Caleb, as much as we would love to have you here - serving your mission on earth, coming home soon to the farm, celebrating our victories, grieving our losses - the truth is, we don’t have a choice.

But another truth remains.

You are still serving.

The day after you passed away, Elder McCune came to talk to the ward, then after sacrament meeting he asked if he could meet with our family.  It was amazing.  He looked at Eryn, who was getting ready to head to her mission interviews, and told her that you would most likely be a companion on her mission. It was a tear-filled moment. 

Eryn is happy with that situation, as long as you don't pull any pranks on her. Capiche?

Please watch over your sister on her mission. Walk beside her. Strengthen her.

The thought of that makes this Mama heart so happy. 

And as you would have so eloquently said, "That makes me so happy!"

Caleb, I hope you're beyond happy!

Love, 

Mom